Matt made a comment on this post about depending on God because he can’t do it on his own.
It made me think about my own merry-go-round ride of depending on God. Perhaps I should call it a tug-of-war. God isn’t tugging of course – it’s a one sided game and it’s all mine.
I gave lip service to depending on God for way too many years. I certainly knew He was dependable, but I was self-reliant and pretty self-sufficient. So much so at points in my life that I know I’ve put people off. And it’s not that I was so certain of myself, but rather that I had to prove myself. I had to depend on me because no one else was dependable. Lots of reasons for that – won’t share those now – but proving myself was important to me. Making me self sufficient was a necessity.
Then one day it happened – those events that occur that you have no control over – not an iota. They just happen. The freight train comes and it takes everything down in its path. You are stripped bare, every emotion is raw, it hurts to breathe. And there is only one thing that is sure and that is that God is sufficient. He alone is dependable. He is the creator who gives life and sustains.
At some point when the devastation begins to release its hold and you sleep with the knowledge that God cares as no one else can, you wonder why you didn’t totally submerge yourself in His love, His power, His understanding before. Why was it only lip service?