I was ready to walk away from education. It had been brewing for a while. I am by nature not happy staying in one place for a long time – not doing any thing for a long period. AND teaching is rather like working in a box, especially if you teach the same subjects year after year. The alternative though is to exhaust yourself learning new subject matter and prepping it for presentation. Then there is staff development. I think if I had to sit through one more staff development on cooperative learning I’d absolutely run screaming from the building. Of course that’s not all we did, but it was all so similar, so mundane.
When you teach in the same building you go to church in, matters are complicated. You may be approached by a parent about school issues when you are fully in worship mode. On the other hand, it also provides a great sense of community. Double edged sword I suppose.
For several years, I’d been on edge.
Then near the end of last school year, we lost our Associate Headmaster (soon to be Headmaster) over what I considered was a small incident. To the higher ups, it wasn’t. I ached for him. I hurt for our school. I cried. I was mad. I signed my contract because I didn’t want to leave then and there in a fury, but the appearance of how things were handled was hard to get past. AND the real kicker was not only did it involve my work life, it involved my church life.
An Interim Headmaster was hired. As webmaster I met with him early. Seemed like a nice guy. I gave him my resignation from the classroom almost immediately. This would be my last year. Told him I just couldn’t do it anymore.
Then I watched as God worked – around me and on me.
In chapel we’ve worked through the book of Romans. For me as a Bible teacher that means that my students’ conversations after chapel are more coherent and connected. They’ve heard the plan of salvation time and time again. In October we had a former student commit suicide and the Headmaster stood up to preach. If I had any doubt that he was God’s man for this place, they were all gone that day. He addressed it as plainly as it could be addressed and once again presented the Gospel.
For staff meetings, we are reading professional materials and are being challenged at a high level. As I’ve been teaching, I’ve literally heard God say, “Bitsy, this is your experience speaking. Anyone can do this equation, but how you present the material is the years that I’ve trained you.” I’ve walked away days asking myself, “Is this something I can just walk away from?” AND of course the answer is no.
I spend a lot of time working with curriculum and new teachers. I’ve taught all the core subjects from elementary to high school. I don’t know that this experience has to be used in the classroom – maybe it can be used with teachers, but it’s been humbling and was even more humbling to go knock on the Headmaster’s door today and tell him that I needed to share with him how God had been working on me. That I am willing to teach or do whatever else is needed to be done at this school.
So what will next year hold? I don’t know right now. Whatever it is, I’m trusting God that it will be just what He planned for me.
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